1) Cigarette :
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end& a fool on the other.
2) Divorce : Future tense of marriage.
3) Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of theLecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "theminds of either"
4) Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
5) Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way thateverybody believes he got the biggest piece.
6) Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power isdefeated by feminine water power...
7) Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
8) Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens andeverybody disagrees later on.
9) Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
10) Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
11) Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
12) Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
13) Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than youactually do.
14) Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit todecide that nothing can be done together.
15) Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
16) Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
17) Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to bespoken of when dead.
18) Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way thatyou actually look forward to the trip.
19) Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentallyfalls into a river.
20) Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says inmidway "See I am not injured yet."
21) Pessimist : A person who says that O is the last letter in RO,Instead 0f the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .
22) Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
23) Father : A banker provided by nature.
24) Criminal : A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
25) Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
26) Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and yourConfidence after
courtesy: forward from anand