Thursday, May 26, 2005

Romance anyone?

Check these out:

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off your face

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell"

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Deft definitions

1) Cigarette :
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end& a fool on the other.

2) Divorce : Future tense of marriage.

3) Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of theLecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "theminds of either"

4) Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

5) Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way thateverybody believes he got the biggest piece.

6) Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power isdefeated by feminine water power...

7) Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.

8) Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens andeverybody disagrees later on.

9) Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

10) Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

11) Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

12) Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

13) Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than youactually do.

14) Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit todecide that nothing can be done together.

15) Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

16) Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.

17) Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to bespoken of when dead.

18) Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way thatyou actually look forward to the trip.

19) Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentallyfalls into a river.

20) Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says inmidway "See I am not injured yet."

21) Pessimist : A person who says that O is the last letter in RO,Instead 0f the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .

22) Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

23) Father : A banker provided by nature.

24) Criminal : A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

25) Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

26) Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and yourConfidence after

courtesy: forward from anand