A newbie's guide to soaps

Over many lunches (during the hols) and dinners (everyday :( ) I've been forced to watch soaps (kannada all of them, and thankfully no KSBKBT). Actually one could look away but then the sound bytes get to you and so does the hilarity of it all.

Here are some things I learnt the hard way.

1. Title.
The title is invariably a female's name or something that relates to suhaag,kumkum, family and such. In the first case the lead female does all the crying but in the second anybody and everybody can cry.
In the second case the title and the soap have no correlation.(Actually yeah the title may get used in one or two dialogues in a span of three years or so.) Or you could say the title could be used for any of the zillion soaps around.
2. How to identify the vamp
Sleeveless blouse + more make up than other heavily "made-up" characters + garish background music (+ last minute evil look when the episode is about to end) == your friendly vamp next door.
3.Nobody dies in a soap
Yeah nobody does! Everyone takes one fortnight to die (see pt 4) and some 40 episodes later you realise the character is not dead after all. He/she is lying is in a coma/in a mental asylum/ in some random stranger's place having suffered memory loss.
The real reason a character dies (or rather correctly goes into a dead-for-forty-episodes state) is that he/she found a better soap (ahem a better paying soap I should say) to act in or he/she needs to be comitted (sometimes they go mad too!) or they have a fallout wid the big shot (heard of Kekta?).
4.Soaps warp the time-space continuum
Soaps can make time slow down to a crawl. It takes one hour (two episodes) to answer a door bell, an accident to take place, for the doctor to announce whether its a boy or a girl or whether someone's dead or alive.
Soaps can have the opposite effect as well. In a blink of an eye uncles become grandpas , aunties become grandmas (theu don't look a day older mind you; the only difference is that one streak of white hair and less than usual make up).
5.Everybody is born rich.
The clothes they wear for daily use, abe kisi shaadi mai bhi aise kapde kam dekhne ko milte hai!
6. Reinforcement of emotion.
When the director needs to emphasise on a particular emotion all he does is to show the same character's face from different angels.
UP DHANG.DOWN DHANG.LEFT DHANG .RIGHT DHANG.DIAGONALLY DHANG. DHANG.DHANG.DHANG.
you get the point don't you?
7.It all boils down to Saas-Bahu ki kahani
The current dinner soap started off as a love triangle. Two friends love the same guy.
Eventually (After a hundred episodes full of love-triangle drama) one of them meets with an accident and dies and the other female elopes with the guy and marries him.
The not-dead friend then goes to her sasural and guess who she meets there?
Her dead dost! The dead dost is alive (Aila!) and has married the guy's father (double aila!!) !!
8. Baa is actually Yoda reincarnated!

Her age is 200 I've heard!

9..

Oh crap forget it! A post about soaps! This blog is going to the dogs!

Red pill or the blue pill?

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Rag tag

I found this here
Tagged myself and so here we are.
Have done the ones with a "X" mark.

( ) smoked a cigarette
( ) done some form of dope
( ) crashed a friend's car
( ) stolen a car
(X) been in love
(X) been dumped
(X) shoplifted
( ) been fired
(X) been in a fist fight -Long ago in school
( ) snuck out of your parent's house
(X) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( )gone on a blind date
(X) lied to a friend
(X) skipped school
( ) seen someone die
( ) had a crush on one of your Internet friends
( ) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
( ) been on a plane
( ) eaten sushi
( ) been skiing-snow or water
( ) met someone from the Internet
(X) been at a concert
( ) taken painkillers
(X) love someone or miss someone right now
(X) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
( ) made a snow angel
( ) had a tea party
(X) flown a kite -loooong ago!! :) bachpan me
(X) built a sand castle
( ) gone puddle jumping
(X) played dress up - fancy dress competion me
( ) jumped into a pile of leaves
( ) gone sledding
(X) cheated while playing a game -he he he
(X) been lonely
( ) fallen asleep at work/school - wish I had
(X) used a fake ID - yeah and dint get caught!
(X) watched the sun set who hasnt?
( ) watched someone sleep -must do this some time
(X) felt an earthquake - yeah .. were in the midst of a chem class .. the teacher was the first to rush for the door!!!
(X ) slept beneath the stars - roof top
(X) been tickled - many many times .... kaka ki yaad aati hai :)
(X) been robbed -
(X) been misunderstood - the latest involved the word "poor".I said "let the poor guy go". The guy took it literally :X!!!!
( ) pet a reindeer/goat/kangaroo -
(X) won a contest
( ) run a red light/stop sign
( ) been suspended from school - bahut baar dhamki zaroor mili hai ;-)
(X) been in a car crash a minor one ..
( ) had braces -
(X) felt like an outcast/third person - yeah kabhi kabhi .
( ) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night -
(X) had deja vu - many many times
( ) danced in the moonlight
(X) liked the way you looked
( ) witnessed a crime
(X) questioned your heart - are bhai kitne bar hua hai ye :-P
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes -what?
( ) squished mud through your bare feet
(X) been lost -
( ) been on the opposite side of the country - nahi :-( ek din apne desh ka har hissa dekhunga
(X) swam in the ocean - yeah during our class trip to cochin .. floated must be more like it
( ) felt like dying
( ) cried yourself to sleep - I am too cold a person to cry over trifles
(X) played cops and robbers
( ) recently colored with crayons
( ) sang karaoke -
( ) paid for a meal with only coins -
(X) done something you told yourself you wouldn't - bahut bar
(X) made prank phone calls - Di was at the receiving end! :-D
(X) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
( ) caught a snowflake on your tongue
( ) danced in the rain -
( ) a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under the mistletoe
( ) watched the sun rise with someone you care about -
(X) blown bubbles //oddly i cant blow a bubble out of a chewing gum!
( ) made a bonfire on the beach
( ) crashed a party
( ) gone roller skating
( ) had a wish come true -
( ) jumped off a bridge
( ) ate dog/cat food
( ) told a complete stranger you loved them
( ) kissed a mirror
(X ) sang in the shower
(X) had a dream that you married someone
(X) glued your hand to something // the iron box qualifies?
( ) kissed a photo
( ) climbed a water tower
(X) screamed at the top of your lungs -
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
( ) talked on the phone for more than 5 hours
( ) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(X) climbed a tree - climbed a sixty feet tree and jumped off it... ha sab safety measures the!
( ) had a tree house
( ) been too scared to watch a scary movie alone
( ) believe in ghosts
( ) have more than 30 pairs of shoes
( ) worn a really ugly outfit to school
( ) gone streaking
( ) gone doorbell ditching
( ) been pushed into a pool/hot tub with all your clothes on
( ) told you're hot by a complete stranger
( ) broken a bone - kabhi nahi.... :-)
(X) been easily amused
( ) caught a fish then ate it
( ) caught a butterfly
(X) laughed so hard you cried
( ) cried so hard you laughed
(X) cheated on a test -
(X) forgotten someone's name - I display a new-found curiosity about the layout of their visiting cards or ids!
( ) French braided someone's hair
( ) gone skinny dipping in a pool/hot tub/river
( ) been threatened to be kicked out of your house or been kicked out of your house
(X) loved someone so much you would gladly die for THEM
( ) cheated on someone -
(X) talk to yourself when noones around -
( ) hate someone you once loved - Not possible!
( ) love someone you once hated
( ) kissed the phone for the person on the other side - what?

Who do I tag??

I tag you! Take this tag up if you liked it.

Googlism for: strider

Check this out.
Go to Googlism and enter your name.
This is what I got:


strider is included on a separate disc when you buy the sequel
strider is dead
strider is a powerful fighter
strider is interesting to describe
strider is a skilled hunter and tracker and continues to learn and improve thanks to his mother's influence
strider is the same height as mousse
strider is the 6th producing male in the futurity/maturity tabulations
strider is automatically moved from one scene to the next
strider is producing his finest qualities in his get
strider is versatile and easy to use
strider is a six
strider is a blur of action
strider is always apparent
strider is the one game i had never played
strider is forever
strider is definetly a class act
strider is very maneuverable
strider is confident that the odds are not three on one
strider is the macho sort who'll always sacrifice a crewmember to save the ship
strider is one of my favorite genesis games
strider is still talking
strider is a love story wrapped in a
strider is already running
strider is well drawn and basically resembles the strider found in marvel vs
strider is a athasian halg
strider is as full of references to mother russia as 1943 is to the land of the rising sun
strider is as intuitive as it gets for an arcade slasher
strider is taller than eight
strider is one
strider is pannucci's contribution to a water sculpture project which she has developed to travel around the world
strider is seen leading a pony into the countryside
strider is by far the most promising wrestler in the midwest
strider is on team 1
strider is happy that they are being more cautious than they were downstairs
strider is concerned
strider is an athletics
strider is pretty good
strider is nearly arcade perfect with all the levels and bosses intact
strider is rough and weather beaten
strider is an agent of an espionage organization called striders
strider is also not responsible for information that may be found on other sites
strider is a unique icon in the surfing world
strider is a race game simulating middle
strider is a fun game but not as good as it's arcade counterpart
strider is submerged in water it carries with it a large bubble of gas entangled in the hair
strider is a chance to play a landmark game
strider is a sure thing
strider is about 21 cm “tall”
strider is an accounting professional with more than 20 years of experience
strider is malaysia
strider is married
strider is great game for genesis that was a port of the arcade game
strider is willing to try if they will let him
strider is to breath under water
strider is the first ch basenji to earn the na and oa
strider is pretty cool
strider is a contemporary suspense
strider is
strider is an all time classic video game
strider is one i haven't heard before
strider is now
strider is able to walk on water is because of surface tension
strider is a walking war machine
strider is the mobile version of atlas speaks
strider is a ways off
strider is a very cool animal

When Priya met Diya

WARNING: This post contains toxic PJs and if at any point of time you feel like killing yourself or me,press the little button with "X" on it on the top right corner of this page in less than 1.3 seconds .....

I have a friend. Let’s call her Priya. During the long weekend that we had last week, Priya had been to her home town. And it took just three days for the huge transformation from Priya to Priya Auntie. (A friend of Priya's , lets call her Diya brought little Chotu into our world! :-) )

I don't know what ensued when Priya met Diya and Chotu. It must be a "so sweet" moment of course. And I must admit that this does deserve the much abused annotation "so sweet". And a little weird too, because you've always seen your friend as this bubbly girl or natkhat guy and suddenly she/he is a parent and has somehow crossed some invisible threshold which just cant be defined. (Did that make sense??)

Now here's my (highly remixed and PJfied) version of what happened when Priya met Diya::

Our tale begins some six months back ,when Priya put down the following entry in her To-do list wala book

Oct XX 2006 10:47 to 11:53 : “Meet Diya and little Chotu/Choti (And give them a surprise !) :-) :-) Sooo Sweet!! “

D day Oct XX 10:46 (You see Priya is never late,NEVER!!):
Priya goes to the hospital where Diya is put up, enquires for the ward no whatever and then proceeds to the same…
She stands in front of the door calms her nerves puts on her best nasal twang , her most morose expression and then enters the room singing ::

“Auntie banaaya….
Auntie banayaa…
Auntie banaaaya aapne”

Diya (After having recovered from this frightful intrusion) says,” Sooo Sweet of you”.
After the hugs and how are yous , Priya proceeds to have a look at a blissfully sleeping Chotu.

Priya bends over the cradle and sings:

"Jhalak dikhlaja..
Jhalak dikhlaja ...."

Chotu wakes up and gives Priya one tight slap!

If you meet a girl with a little flowery red mark on her left cheek that's Priya! Don't forget to say "Sooo sweet Priya aunty!!"

Should I be happy or should I be sad?

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Kind Philosopher. Where You Lived: Alaska. How You Died: Buried alive.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

Which famous movie are you?

I have to run ... I'll probably miss my cab ... But then thought i'll let you know which famous movie I am supposed to be...

What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Added later:

I didn't miss my cab! :)
And if you have watched Schindler's list do let me know if its good....
Check out the comments for some interesting fare...

It was a gruesome experience for Patty. She sat there crying and her head hurt while the paramedics did their job on her. The tears wouldn’t stop, even with Daddy trying his best to console her. Patty a pretty six year old had just been on the receiving end of a botched up kidnap attempt. The kidnapper wearing a baseball bat, had apparently timed his move pretty well, just when Mr. Jose had left Patty alone, to get her a cone of her favourite vanilla ice cream, but had failed miserably in the execution. All he got away with was a fistful of poor Patty’s hair, leaving behind a badly shaken six year old whose head hurt like hell.
Detectives Steve and Laura were upon the scene in ten minutes. And it was Laura who finally managed to stop the flood of tears.
Luckily a Samaritan had noted the no of the SUV in which the kidnappers, apparently there were two of them, had fled.
In two days the kidnappers were caught. And Patty made a positive id of the Baseball cap guy. The interrogation that followed, threw up a few surprises. The kidnappers claimed that were private detectives hired by one Mrs. Michelle. The kidnappers/detectives claimed they specialized in restoring lost/kidnapped children to their parents. Steve on checking up the State Private Eye’s office found that indeed the two kidnappers were private hires. Steve and Laura promptly turned up at Michelle’s place. To their surprise, Michelle was expecting them. Michelle went on to claim that Patty was her child. She claimed Anna (that was what Michelle called her girl) had lost her way when she was a year old. Michelle was arrested on charges of aiding/abetting kidnap.
Upon preliminary trial, the kidnappers and Michelle were granted bail, on the condition that they must not be present within 500 yards from Patty’s house, school or play ground. Later in the day, Michelle was found violating the order and was promptly arrested again.
When Steve checked the database of unsolved lost/found cases, he was astonished to find that there indeed was an Anna who matched Michelle’s description but she was presumed dead in a road accident. But her body had never been found.
So, Steve and Laura came to the conclusion that Michelle was suffering from a psychological disorder, having been under severe trauma, losing both husband and child in a single accident. There were in for a surprise.
DNA tests on the handful of hair that Baseball-cap had grabbed on to, revealed that Patty was indeed Michelle’s child!
Now the onus was on Mr. and Mrs. Jose to prove that Patty was their child. And prove they did, in a convincing fashion. They produced a valid birth certificate; moreover they had recorded the birth of their only child on tape.
How could Patty be both Michelle’s and Mrs. Jose’s child??
Laura had a hunch, which was to be proved correct.
Guess what?
Wait till the next post! ;-)